This was a relatively tame episode, but a whole lot happened.
The episode opened with the guys being happy and relieved in the wake of Thomas having been eliminated in the last episode. This won’t last long—these poor suckers are blissfully unawares of what is in store for them!
Tayshia the Host comes in and the guys are instantly on edge bc they know if she’s visiting them, a bomb is about to drop. She gives them a heads up that Katie has invited another guy to join them and the current contestants are…Displeased.
In comes Blake and his absolutely gigantic jaw/confusing facial hair (can he not grow the mustache all the way or what? Why is the chin-hair so dense and the lip hair so…not? Is this intentional? Help me understand). This guy looks like human Shrek but, admittedly, he is hot regardless.
The guys all stare at him in miserable silence. They recognize him from having been on a previous season and they are quick to bring up the “NOT HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS” possibility. Blake I think does a good job at trying to explain himself, but the tension in the room is palpable. The guys barely have time to process this new development before the one-on-one date card arrives and, no surprise, the one-on-one date is given to Blake.
Each and every one of the guys looks like they are about to rage-shit their pants. At this point, Katie shows up to see how the guys are taking the news. The answer: not well. She explains that she feels chemistry with Blake and has to follow her heart—which is surely not what the other dudes want to hear. Still, they can’t argue with Katie herself about this, and so the drama about Blake is momentarily squashed, and Blake and Katie leave for their date.
This is absolutely Hunter’s super-villain origin story, but I’ll get to that later.
One-on-One: Blake
Katie explains in her confessional interview that the reason she gave Blake the one-on-one this week was to spend a solid amount of time with him to see if there really was potential, and if there wasn’t she would send him packing right away. This totally makes sense but the other guys are understandably outraged that this guy comes out of left field and gets a one-on-one, while many of the dudes who have already been there for weeks have not yet gotten to spend time w Katie. Oh well!
The date turns out to be a ‘romantic’ horseback ride. Blake confesses that he is a little afraid of horses. I have basically zero information on this man (having not seen the previous season he was on), so all I know is that his bio tells us he is a “wildlife advocate”—vague, but leads me to believe he is an animal person—and yet this man has absolutely not clue how to deal with this horse. Like, his Instagram has him hanging out with rhinos, and he can’t handle a HORSE? Horses are barely wildlife. They’re practically as domesticated as cats—just, large? Ok, Blake.
I mean look, I don’t mean to be shady here—I’m vegan and I would literally rather sell a kidney than be anywhere near oceanic life, so I realize that caring deeply about some animals does not mean he has to like ‘em all. STILL, this was confusing.
In general the horse ride seems fun and normal (Blake gets the hang of it, I guess), and they have easy convo. Blake mentions that sometimes for his job he’ll need to be out of the country for a month at a time and Katie is all, “I like that!” and I laughed that she’s already planning how she can get time away from her future husb. They have a seemingly good time and then they make out in a pile of hay. They are literally having a roll in the hay. I have to admit, they have some obvious sexual chemistry. This is the first time I have seen her kissing someone and like, being really into it (sorry, Connor the Cat).
During the night/dinner portion of the date, they are clearly VIBING. Then, seemingly out of no where, Blake decides to ask Katie “how she became so sex-positive” in such a weird way that I feel certain this was encouraged by the producers to force Katie to re-tell her sexual assault story. Katie basically just says all the same stuff that we heard previously about the non-consensual experience, and how this has led her to want to promote actual healthy sex/sexual relationships. Once again I am left feeling like…while this is absolutely a topic which deserves mainstream attention, I wish that Katie didn’t need to re-hash her trauma again and again because it simply is not possible to treat this topic with care and nuance on a show like The Bachelorette.
Speaking of this: I also wish that this show, which is clearly so hung up on Katie being sex-positive, would spend even five minutes actually talking about what that means in practice—ie, that it’s more than just enjoying sex. Can someone talk about healthy communication, boundaries, or routine STI testing? Can someone talk about condoms, birth control, abortions? How about a fun convo about unsolicited dick pics (which I am sure half of these men have sent), rape culture, micro aggressions, or slut-shaming?
Here’s a fun group date idea: instead of mud wrestling or force-feeding these guys a plate of Twinkies, why don’t we have competition where we see which guys could pass a high-school level sex education quiz? Label diagrams of sexual anatomy? Talk about the female orgasm? Practice what talking about consent and revoking consent might look like? I’m just spit-balling here.
ANYWAY….
Blake responds to the story in a decent way, thank goodness. The date goes on and Blake gets the rose at the end—Katie says she’s glad she gave him a chance.
Group Date: Bachelorette Bash Ball Battle
Meanwhile, back at the house, the group-date card arrives and includes everyone except Andrew S, meaning that he’s going on the next one-on-one. Yay for Andrew.
The group date is yet another bizarrely dangerous sport event (why must they…endanger these people?) called “Bachelorette Bash Ball Battle”—a quippy name for something that seems made intentionally to result in someone’s teeth getting knocked out, but go off, producers.
The sport is described as a “cross between rugby and basketball.” I do not know anything about rugby (apologies), but basically it looks to me like a game of basketball where the men are also allowed to tackle each other in a fit of testosterone-driven psychosis. They are wearing these teeny tiny spandex outfits with the butts cut out, also. Notably, they are wearing NO protective gear (helmet? knee pads?) except maybe like, a dick shield (the one body part that men care about not maiming, i guess?)
The game starts out innocently enough. Greg can dunk—this is an unexpected skill from my nemesis, and I will admit that I am impressed.
Unfortunately the game rapidly moves from “it’s all fun and games” to “someone get’s hurt.” Hunter starts hard-tackling people which I guess the game technically allows, and soon the other dudes are following his lead and doing the same. Multiple guys blame Hunter for setting an aggressive tone to the game, but like…y’all didn’t need to do it just because he did? Also, one of the guys describes Hunter as being like “a circus guy getting shot out of a cannon” and I laughed for approximately 20 years because that is exactly what Hunter looks like. If you told me his profession was “circus performer” I would not need to be convinced.
Michael A (the dad) gets tackled hard from behind by Justin, and goes down in an alarming fashion. I truly cringed seeing his wee head snap back and forth. He’s on the gorund, he’s not moving. The medics come rushing over. My soul left my body because I love Michael and he MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS.
He has trouble catching his breath but seems okay—in that he does not need to leave or seek actual hospital attention. Katie announces the game is over. Justin apologizes to Michael and you can tell it was totally an accident and he feels genuinely bad. No one is really mad at Justin—everyone seems annoyed at Hunter for having instigated the aggression.
At the cocktail party that evening, Katie has a nice chat with Michael, who tells her that his deceased wife’s birthday was the day before. They both agree that they are happy he is still there, even though it is still hard for him to be away from his son. Next up, Connor the Cat appears with his shirt FULLY unbuttoned (dude, WHY) and he plays her a song on the ukulele. This brings Katie to tears—unclear to me if it’s because she liked it so much (really?) or if she is overcome with secondhand embarrassment (my guess). Then they make out and he does the weird hand-on-her-head thing once again. CONNOR, please.
Back with the group, Hunter won’t shut up about how fun he thought the game was, even while the other guys are talking about how it was too aggressive and are essentially licking their wounds. Aaron says he “can’t stand” Hunter—apparently Hunter is Aaron’s next target. Basically Aaron has spent his entire tenure on this show singling out men to send home (Cody, Karl, Thomas, now Hunter) and it is absolutely so funny.
In his alone-time with her, Hunter tells Katie that he thinks things are getting “serious” with them (huh???) and he wants to introduce her to his kids. I half expect them to appear from around the corner, but alas no, he just pulls out some photos—not the same thing, my guy. Katie seems touched by this, for some reason?
Meanwhile, Michael shares his dead-wife story with the rest of the guys, bringing them all to TEARS. Greg seems nearly incapable of wrapping his mind around the concept that someone could have a positive attitude after having suffered. He is bawling like an absolute baby, and so am I, honestly. I love Michael.
Greg decides to make Michael’s story all about him and uses this as a reason to tell Katie how he feels: ie, he’s having a hard time watching her with the other guys, blah blah, and that it’s hard that his one-on-one with her happened so early because now he’s seeing her form strong bonds with the other dudes. Katie tells him that he has “resting sad face” and always looks like a lost puppy, which had me absolutely cackling. Still, she reassures Greg that he should stick around and makes him promise he won’t decide to leave before the end. Again, indications that he is the clear front-runner.
At the end of the date, Katie gives Hunter the rose, to my absolute and utter confusion. Maybe she liked seeing the pictures of his kids, but I don’t really sense any chemistry or connection with them? I thought this was a super weird choice, but maybe she’s just trying to not give the rose to the same people all the time?
Idk guys, Hunter feels like the type of guy who would follow you around a bar trying to get your attention all night and then call you a fat ugly bitch when you reject him, but THEN slide into your DMs to try again the next day. He gives me ick vibes. I don’t like him.
One-on-One: Andrew S.
For this date, Katie drags Andrew into the woods in the middle of the night, which is absolutely NOT my idea of a good time. They get to a clearing where there is a tree strung with string-lights and a bunch of envelopes dangling from tree branches. Each envelope asks a question or asks them to do something to help them get to know each other a little better. Honestly I was extremely bored during this part of the date. I know there is only so much they can do in pandemic-times, but this was uninspired.
Still, Andrew and Katie seem to have a good time. The dinner portion is where things get kind of interesting. They bond over their family experiences and chat about how they would want to do things differently when they have their own partners/kids. Andrew also opens up about his experience being a Black man in an interracial relationship in the past. He swears his ex was “not racist,” but says that she worried about what strangers would think if they (Andrew and her) had kids and the kids did not look like her. Now, call me crazy, but if this person was worried about what a hypothetical stranger would think about seeing a white woman with a child of color to the extent that it’s a big enough issue to end the relationship, she might be a little bit racist.
Anyway, it’s a real GUT PUNCH hearing this story. There’s not nearly enough time to unpack the complexities here. Katie admits she is probably naïve as a white lady herself, but that she “wouldn’t give a fuck” if people wanted to look at her and that she knows Andrew will make a great husband and father. I am left wondering how much of this convo is organic and how much is somewhat manufactured by the Bach franchise due to the complete avoidance of such convos during Matt James’ season (ending in the Rachael Debacle).
Still, Andrew seems very sweet and Katie says she could see him getting to the end. Needless to say, Andrew gets the date rose.
Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony
The main drama at this cocktail party is that Hunter, who already has a rose from the group date, decides to comandeer time with Katie anyway. With Cody, Karl, and Thomas out of the way, Hunter has jetted to the top of “most annoying idiots” on the season.
Hunter sets up a telescope, which he’s allegedly brought from home (what???) and tries to have his own mini one-on-one date with Katie in the middle of the cocktail party. To be fair, the only people who seem especially pressed about this are Aaron (on brand), Tre, and James the box guy. James is notably wearing a black turtleneck and gold chain, looking like some Italian mafia version of that Dwayne the rock Johnson meme:
James decides to go and interrupt Hunter’s little scheme. When he tries, Hunter is like “No you cannot steal her, I need more time!” James looks momentarily genuniely stunned, and then walks like three paces away for a minute before coming back and trying again. Upon the second attempt, Katie does leave with James. Hunter declares that his night is “ruined” and is kinda mad about the interruption.
To be clear, Hunter gives me total evil troll vibes, but I don’t really think that what he did was wrong. This is a competition, after all. The whole point is to try to win Katie’s heart. All’s fair in love and war, as they say, so while the politics of stealing her time when you already have a rose is shady, everyone gotta look out for their own best interest. He’s playing the game and we can’t fault him for that. We can fault him for being annoying and obnoxious, though!
In truth I think that there are many relationships stronger than Hunter/Katie’s, so in the end I am sure this won’t matter very much.
Rose ceremony comes and for once there is no unionization of the men against one person (though I see this in Hunter’s future). They proceed with a relatively drama free elimination of Andrew (not Andrew S, the other Andrew that apparently was on this show???), Quartney, and Josh.
After the ceremony, Aaron gears up to do the end-of-night toast and Hunter deadass just interrupts him and steals his thunder. WHAT.
That’s that’s the end of the episode, except for….
The Trailer of What’s to Come
Obviously this is a trailer and trailers are meant to mislead us and look v dramatic, but there are some definite CLUES about things to come:
Heartbreakingly, there is a clip of Michael' on video-chat with his kid, who says “Maybe Daddy doesn’t want to see me” and I’m GUTTED by this. We see him in the preview telling Katie that “it just tore me apart” and that he can’t focus on anything else. My guess is that Michael maybe ends up leaving because he can’t be away from his son any longer. Later in the preview Katie does indicate that someone self-eliminates (she says that “all I’m looking for is m person, and it’s very possible that my person just left”), so I suspect it is Michael A…
….AND/OR it could be Greg, who we have seen becoming increasingly anxious and miserable about seeing other guys with Katie. We see him in the preview getting really heated in the preview and storming away from the producers across a courtyard. We also later in the preview see Katie chasing someone across the same courtyard and saying “Are you serious?”—maybe he decided to self-eliminate, too?
We also see Blake telling Katie that he “isn’t in love right now,” and someone we have not met yet (maybe a family member of Blake’s? is this a sneak-peak at a hometown?) says “What if somebody else has already said it? What are you waiting for?” so perhaps our dear BLAKE is not quite as ready for this whole marriage-to-Katie thing as he thought. The preview also opens with Katie/Blake smooching in front of some psychotic looking burning clown thing reminiscent of that little spooky puppet from the Saw movies—not a great sign?—
We also see a BRIEF clip of what looks to be Connor the Cat hugging the dudes while wearing a suit, a clip of him in a confessional weeping (in the same suit??) and saying “It’s heartbreaking”—is he perhaps sent home after a one-on-one?
Notably, we see a lot of Katie crying, one clip of her throwing up from stress, one clip of her saying she wants to leave and asking for someone to book her a flight home. She also tells the hosts that she is “at a breaking point.” Seems like there’s a lot of drama in store for the second half of this season!
There is also teaser of another surprise guest turning up—whomst?!
Current predictions:
Sadly I think Connor B is gonna be eliminated and won’t be in her top picks. RIP.
I also think that Michael is gonna make it far, but ultimately will decide on his own to leave bc of his kid.
Which means that I think top folks are gonna be: Greg, Blake, Justin, and Andrew S.
However, I suspect maybe Greg might also self-eliminate (per above) and Blake seems to be getting cold feet. EEP. What will HAPPEN???
Things are starting to get JUICY, y’all.