I skipped a week because I am bad at things, so now we get 2 recaps in one. I….am so sorry.
First up:
Brief(ish) recap/Highlights from ep 7
Mike P. and Brendan
We start off the episode with….7 (???I think???) men left. Of these remaining dudes, only Mike P. (the virgin) and Brendan (whomst???) have not had one-on-one dates. Up to now, we have seen very little of these men— most especially Brendan, who has left absolutely no impression on me other than that he needs someone to tell him to stop styling his hair like Jimmy Neutron:
Obviously this late in the game, one-on-ones are critical for men who have had no alone-time with Katie—so it’s a big surprise that the first one-on-one goes to GREG, who has already had a one-on-one with her earlier in the season. Mike and Brendan are shooketh, as they should be—this means one of them will not get a one-on-one at all, bc timing. We later find out that the other one-on-one goes to Mike the Virgin, sending Brendan into an absolute tailspin. He ends up going to Katie’s room to be like “I’m concerned,” and Katie responds by being like “Fear not, I’m gonna eliminate you now anyway!” and sends him packing. Sorry, bud! I was def confused as to why she kept Brendan in the first place (as was Brendan himself), sending home several men in the preceding weeks with whom she had stronger connections. Katie does not clarify. Shrug!
Mike the Virgin’s one-on-one is of course is the most deeply awkward, physical date that they could possibly have done. The producers definitely did this on purpose, obviously. They bring on some woman who is allegedly a “cuddle expert” (excuse????) whose title is literally Cuddle Queen Jean (asjdkasjkdasjk).
Apparently Cuddle Queen Jean specializes in therapeutic cuddling, whatever that means. The obvious point of this date is to make the virgin guy super uncomfortable yet again (because he first group date centered around sex wasn’t bad enough!) by putting him in a situation which is specifically bad for *him*. This time, he’s asked essentially to be as physically intimate w Katie as they can be on network television. They’re put into various cuddle poses by Cuddle Queen Jean. It’s really awkward. Katie and Mike keep giggling nervously, much to the chagrin of Jean, who is obviously pissed that they aren’t taking her cuddle lesson seriously.
Jean disappears, leaving Katie and Mike to chat alone. Mike starts talking about how Katie reminds him of his mom, which is deeply weird especially in the context of a physically intimate date. In the end, Katie ends up sending him home. She tells him it’s because she just doesn’t feel like her relationship with him is as strong as the other guys in the house, which is probably true and is naturally a totally fair reason to eliminate him. To be frank, I also simply don’t see these two as a match, and I will even go so far as to say that I think marrying someone without seeing if you have sexual chemistry first is absolutely INSANE. I have to assume Katie agrees with me here, and that this prob played into her decision at least a little bit. Mike takes his elimination with total grace. I honestly do think that Mike seems like a great dude. I expected not to like him, but he totally exceeded my expectations. In the end I think that Mike was definitely not the right match for Katie but I wish him all the best and hope his DMs are overflowed with women who are into virginity or whatever.
Greg’s SECOND one-on-one, and the Group Date
Greg’s second one-on-one is set up by Katie to mimic stuff she likes about Seattle, which is where she’s from. This seems weird bc isn’t that what Hometowns are for? Is that just the guy’s hometowns? Am I confused?
The date was not that great imo, but it remains obvious that Katie is super into Greg (already obvious enough by the fact that he was given a second one-on-one when there were TWO guys who didnt get one at all….). Once again, a significant portion of time is spent with Katie asking Greg “how he is doing” and trying to comfort him because he’s acting (keyword: acting) like an insecure wiener, expressing yet again that it is hard to know that she’s interested in other guys blah blah. Anyway, they make out in the rain (bc Seattle) and then he gets a rose.
The group date is centered around art, and the guest star of the date is some woman who is known for vagina-flower art. Like, flowers which are obviously also vaginas? I’m not an artist but this metaphor is not very original and I was not impressed—nor was Blake, who accidentally insulted her.
Anyway, during this date, the dudes are supposed to create art inspired by Katie. Everyone gets to painting, except for Michael A, who uses clay to sculpt a Katie’s butt. I immediately think that Justin is gonna do the best bc his whole shtick is that he is an ~artist~, but his art was also dumb? Then again, none of the stuff produced by these men is good. Blake painted what I thought at first was simply a black canvas, but apparently it was something so explicit that they had to just black out the entire thing. Not gonna lie, I desperately want to see the unedited version of THAT.
Honestly not much else interesting happened on this episode until the eliminations came around. At the ceremony, Greg and Michael A (the dad) both have roses from the one-on-one and group date respectively. Brendan and Mike the Virgin have been eliminated earlier, so Katie has two roses to give out. She gives them to Blake and JUSTIN, in a stunning turn of events. I was *so sure* that she’d pick Andrew, with whom we’ve seen her have a much stronger connection? Justin is very hot, but we haven’t really seen her having the same connection with him, in my humble opinion.
Anyway, then this weird drama happens where Katie kind of is like “oh no i have made a mistake,” ie by eliminating Andrew, and proposes the idea to Andrew that maybe he can stay after all. Andrew says no because he doesn’t want to end up rejected again down the line and also she should have picked him in the first place, which is fair.
Which ends…that episode.
THEN….
The “Men Tell All episode” (ep 8)
Before the “Tell All” section, we see this clip of Katie gushing about how excited she feels about Michael the Dad and saying all this stuff about how she “knows what their future together would look like,” and that she’d “Become a mom” to his son and all this stuff. I was a little weirded out by this to be honest, because she…doesn’t know this at all? Like? I feel like she kind of built a fantasy in her head about what life might be like with Michael (ie: a starter family) but I don’t think that she’s altogether realistic here. Her idea of their future together seems to miss the fact that this man and his son have very recently suffered a massive trauma (ie the death of Laura, Michaels wife/mother of his son), and…idk, it seems to me like she should adjust her expectations of what waltzing into a family which is surely still in the midst of extreme grief.
ANYWAY, so cut to a scene where we see Michael face-timing with his son, James. James says something to the effect of “Maybe Daddy doesn’t want to see me anymore,” which is of course heartbreaking and horrid. This just goes back to what I have been thinking since the very beginning: this man’s wife died SO recently, and his son is so young still. I understand Michael’s position of wanting to move on and whatever, but I still do think like hopping on a reality TV show/leaving your young child alone for two months is…a weird choice after your wife/the kid’s mom just died.
This conversation understandably sends Michael into an emotional place, and so he decides to withdraw early from the season so he can go home to his kid. This was not shocking to me because I have predicted this happening for a while.
Katie’s reaction to this news was…interesting. I feel like all along Katie has seemed very understanding of Michael’s situation, but when Michael was telling her that he had to go, her reaction was a lot less empathetic than I expected. On the other hand, I do feel like Michael should have perhaps decided to leave earlier than he did—he got to the final 4, and if he would have left even a week or two prior, Katie might have been able to explore things further with some of the other men that have been eliminated. Also, at this point in the game, it’s only like…a few more weeks to go? Granted, I am not a parent, so idk how I’d have reacted in this situation. It is probably logical of him to put his kid first—but then maybe that should have been his thought process from the beginning. Oop! Listen, don’t get me wrong, I am a hard Michal A stan….but I am also still a little judgey about his choice to be on this show to begin with.
So after Michael’s unexpected departure, we are swiftly moved straight into the Men Tell-All. It was a super sudden segue and it kinda gives ya emotional whiplash—the whole segment with Michael felt really out of place to me, but I guess they had to do it because Michael A is on the Tell All, so we needed to see him self-eliminate first.
The first thing I noticed about this was that someone named KYLE was on stage, and I did NOT have any recollection of him on this show, hahaha. I guess he must have gotten eliminated very early? He also says absolutely nothing the entire show, so I don’t know why this man was present.
Also there was a live studio audience, which was interesting.
Notably ABSENT from the Tell All was our fave villain Thomas. He did call in via video-chat later in the episode to talk to Katie, which was whatever. Unfortunately, the guys did not get a chance to converse with him, which removed a lot what I anticipated to be hot goss. Oh well.
Other fave villains—Karl, Cody, and Hunter—all had a chance to say their piece. Karl was still incredibly annoying. Cody was whatever. Hunter I think handled the drama surrounding his time on the show pretty well? He owned up to some of his dishonesty, anyway.
One thing I noticed was that BRENDAN, the man who we hardly heard a peep from on the show, would not stop talking during the tell-all. WHY! Also, James—looking like a psychotic Ken doll—was real chatty too, especially when it came to bullying Hunter.
There were three “hot seat” interviews: Connor, Andrew, and Michael.
Connor was up first to talk about his whole debacle—ie, getting eliminated because Katie didn’t feel a spark when they kissed. After an emotional montage of his time on the show, going from the cat-costume-guy to shirt-unbuttoned-sobbing-guy, there’s obviously some convo surrounding the kissing thing.
Connor admits that when he went home, he texted some of his exes to ask them about whether he was, in fact a bad kisser. This is massively CRINGE to me. I swear, if any of my exes texted me about their kissing abilities, I’d simply roast them and block their number. Alas, Connor has apparently dated women in the past more generous than I, who assured him (allegedly) that his kissing is not the problem—it is a matter of chemistry etc.
At this point, a (mysteriously mic’d) woman in the audience stands up and is all “I don’t think Connor is a bad kisser!” and everyone is all, “Let’s test the theory!” and she approaches the stage to share a seemingly steamy kiss w Connor:
She assures us that Connor is a great kisser. Connor seems thrilled. The hosts seemed surprised at this whole interaction, though I have subsequently heard rumors that this whole interaction was STAGED. Allegedly there was a casting call for such an audience member by Central Casting…this is what I have unearthed on the internet:
Look, I don’t know if the casting call is legit or not. I would have been suspicious anyway, upon finding that the gal in question is also a rising music star. In the end, it absolutely doesn’t matter. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Connor is absolutely my usual type—a cute but not hot, gentle personality, way too interested in sharing feelings, sorta feminine art boi, loves cats and grand romantic gestures. All this seems cool except in my EXPERIENCE these guys tend to be the absolute best until one wrong turn has them ruining your life so….idk!! I will admit that my love of Connor has waned a bit, but still want and hope for him to meet the cat lady of his dreams.
Andrew’s interview was kinda whatever. It almost felt scripted to me? I do think that Andrew he is a big contender for next Bachelor, but time will tell. On that note though, his hot-seat interview felt to me more like a Bachelor interview—he talks about feelings and “being accustomed to heartbreak,” wanting for someone to “pick him for him,” being a hopeless romantic, about challenges of interracial relationships, and about as a Black man, not shying away from difficult topics (relating to race) (this felt like a lil shade at Matt, our Bachelor from last season, imo).
Michael’s interview went about as expected. His exit still being fresh, it gave us the opportunity to hear from him about his thought process behind leaving—basically what you’d expect, the hardships of being a single parent and needing to put his kid first, blah blah. He said that he still has feelings for Katie and would be open to exploring things again in the future if she were interested. When Katie came on stage, she promptly REJECTED this notion—ouch! Jk, I am hoping (for her) that this means she is happy with however the show turns out.
Also worth noting that Michael looks kinda dreamy w the beard:
So after Michael, Katie joins the stage.
She talks to Thomas via video, we see some bloopers, Katie talks to some of the dudes. Kaitlyn (the host) shares her engagement video and I wanted to die from second-hand embarrassment . And that’s about it? We also see some…interesting previews for what’s to come.
Predictions
At this point I am conflicted about who I think is going to be winner.
I *feel* like Blake is the best suited for Katie, but it does seem like Katie is still leaning towards Greg.
Based on the previews we keep seeing, I suspect that Greg also self-eliminates. I am in the minority-camp of people who think that Greg is a phony, lol. I think that he’s here to launch his acting career and I think he’s going to use his sad-boy antics as an excuse to bow out, even though all along he has not really been in it for Katie.
This will leave Katie with just Justin and Blake, in which scenario I think she’ll go with Blake. Sorry to Justin, but I simply don’t see a reality where he’s the frontrunner.
ALTERNATIVELY, I could see a reality where Greg threatens to dramatically bail and in order to keep him, Katie eliminates the other two on the spot? Maybe that’s the “dramatic ending” we keep hearing about.
I am looking forward to next week!