WELL WELL WELL lmaoooo
is this my favorite episode of the season? Is there any sweeter joy than being correct after being the minority "Greg sucks" voice for 8 weeks? Everyone else in “bach nation” has been swooning about Gregory since day one, but I felt it in my CORE that he was gonna come outta left field w some buuuuuullshit.
Do I feel absolutely vindicated?
Yes, yes, and YES.
WHEWWW I am absolutely riding a HIGH right now. Let's get into it.
So this episode is hometowns, which in Bachelor/ette world is the week where the leading lady/man visit the…hometowns...of the remaining contestants, meet their families, and so on.
We are down to three men: Greg (boo hiss), Blake, and Justin. Obviously bc we are in Covid times, the men can't actually take Katie to their hometowns, so they are forced to create a "hometown" date at the resort where they're staying. Ok.
Blake's hometown date is up first.
He is from somewhere in Canada—they don’t' specify where, which amuses me, because Canada is a pretty big place. Whatever though! Blake Brings Katie to a room that is decked out in like "Canadian décor," which I guess means…Canadian flags and taxidermy? He tells her he used to be a bartender (adding this to my list of "cons" for Blakey) and serves her a maple syrup shot. I thought he was going to make her a cocktail using maple syrup, which might be yummy, but nay. Just a straight up shot of syrup. Frankly I absolutely refuse to believe this is a thing Canadians do, but okay.
Katie and Blake do some other cute activities, including playing darts, riding a mechanical moose (vs a bull, bc Canada), and playing street hockey. During the outdoor portion of Blakes date, we get these incredibly emo shots of Greg peering over a fence forlornly, spying on them. He truly looks like an emo album cover.
Greg says some trash again about how it's hard to watch her being with the other guys (stop spying on her dates then??). This is what some folks might call FORESHADOWING.
So then it's time to meet Blake's family. Before they go into the room where the fam awaits, Blake says to Katie "Don't worry. You don't need to be great, you just need to be you!" which I knooooow he meant to be like a nice, calming thing to say but lmao it sounds like he's saying she's not great?? I die.
Anyway, there to meet Katie are Blake's mom, sister, and brother. His mom is super cute and took a page out of the Matt-James-mom handbook and wore leather pants for this occasion.
Blake's sister is absolutely brutal, making comments about "So SHE'S the one now?" and pointing out that Blake claimed to be in love with both Clare (before meeting her) and Tayshia. I have the same thoughts, sis.
Overall there's not much else worth mentioning. His fam asked the typical prying questions, Katie expresses that she has chosen to refrain from telling any of the guys that she loves them until the end because it "feels wrong to say it to someone while she's still dating multiple people," which seems totally fair to me. Please keep this in mind for what is to come.
Blake has this moment where he wants to tell her he is in love, but then he decides not to at the last minute.
Then, Justin’s date is up next
Sweet, sweet Justin. This poor man is truly only along for the ride. I am 100% sure that he is only still here because Michael A. self-eliminated the previous week, and he was the hottest leftover. This man does not have a snowball’s chance in hell of being the winner. Poor guy.
So…Justin's family could or wouldn't come to meet Katie??? This makes my heart kinda ache for him, and we don't really get a concrete reason as to why Justin's fam won't come, but we can speculate. He has known Katie for only a few weeks. If my dumbass child was gearing up to become engaged on a reality TV show and expected me to participate in these shenanigans…frankly, I'd stay my ass home too. This is to say nothing also of the fact that we are still in the midst of the ol global pandemmy.
Anyway, so Justin is from Baltimore, where apparently silent horse drawn carriages through the desert are popular. He shows her a mini version of a "Welcome to Baltimore" sign, a faux graffiti wall, and then has a platter of crabs (which Katie seems low key grossed out about). Sorry to the people of Baltimore for this lackluster representation.
Eventually, Justin has to tell Katie the news about his family not coming, and she seems disappointed to hear this. She makes a comment about it being awkward to not have met his family just weeks away from a potential engagement, and also alludes to being concerned that maybe this means he "isn’t ready for a marriage," which is just stupid and I do not see the correlation??
Like, I am personally a person who doesn't see or speak to my family except for approximately once a year at Christmas, and I am generally fine with that. I don't think it is a mark against me as a person, nor does it speak to my ability to be in a relationship?? Likewise, I don't think that his parents being SMART and not wanting to risk DEATH FROM THE CONTAGIOUS VIRUS PLAGUING THE EARTH AT THIS MOMENT necessarily says anything bad about Justin. If anything, I respect his parents for not wanting to be part of this whole charade. (TBH we all know that Katies "is he not ready" comment is just to do w the fact that Justin is for sure her last pick at this point and is a convenient excuse to eliminate him eventually.)
As on Blake's date, Justin's friends ask the standard questions about how they are each feeling and are concerned about the lack of "I love yous" exchanged. Everyone is all, "what if someone else has said it already!" which is funny because not one single man nor Katie has dropped the L bomb to this point, but everyone is worried that someone else has.
And now the main event: GREG
Now, at this point in the show we are only ~45 minutes in (out of 90 minutes) and I am positively brimming with excitement bc I know this means some shit is about to go DOWN with Greg. I have waited for this all season. I felt in my bones that this was coming. I am ready for the sweet wave of validation to wash over me like a warm bath.
Okay. So. Greg is from Jersey (in itself shoulda been a red flag as far as I am concerned). His "Jersey" date is kinda whatever and not worth talking abou ( I think that hometowns dates should just be skipped during covid because they are whack as hell, lol) because the JUICE comes after.
Still, it remains very obvious that Greg is the fave just in the way that she is interacting with him. They seem to have a good time on their day date, and then it's time to meet his fam.
Gregs mom, brother, and bff came out for him (he also got two video messages from his sisters who could not make it) (Sorry, Justin). Notable at this point is that I suspect Greg is adopted because he looks NOTHING like his family…:
We go through the whole rigamarole where they pester her with the typical questions. Katie is again v clear that she has not said "I love you" to any of the men because she wants to only say it to whoever is the final person.
Despite this, in my opinion she is being incredibly transparent with his fam about Greg being the person she wants to be with in the end. While talking to Greg's mom about her feelings for Greg, Katie says that she "Hates to use the phrase 'frontrunner,'" but that "he is "definitely getting a rose this week." She further states that if Greg weren't there, she wouldn't feel as confident about the process. She is basically saying that he's gonna win without coming out and saying that he's gonna win, you feel me? And like, of course! I am sure there are some sort of RULES about this sort of thing as far as production is concerned. She can't come out and state "Greg is going to win, I just need to finish X more episodes" because that spoils the ending, right? There needs to still be some drama for the remaining episodes.
The fam tells Katie that they haven't seen Greg so happy in a long time, not since before his dad passed away, blah blah. They also say that they are surprised that Greg has opened up to Katie so much about his dad, because he hasn't spoken to anyone about his dad's death as far as they know. (VERY RED FLAGGY).
AND THEN things take…a turn. And BOY do I have thoughts.
The plot thickens….
So it's the end of the date and Greg + Katie are spending some alone time together. Greg basically gives this gushing monologue and concludes by telling her that he's in love with her, and also that she "fills a hole in his heart" that was left by his dad which—big yikes, my dude, that is TOO MUCH. However, admittedly, Katie's reaction to this is…maybe too little? She smiles at him and says nothing. We get a beat of silence. Greg is like "um" and she goes, "I just love looking at you." At this point I audibly gasp alone in my living room. I have made no secret about the fact that I hate Gregory over here, but DAMN KATIE. I felt that knife going in on his behalf.
Greg is like *blink blink* and Katie says something like, "You know how I feel about you, right?" (obvi alluding to the fact that she ~loves~ him too or whatever, but she has already set aboundary for herself that she won’t say it yet), but at this point, Greg's entire demeanor has SHIFTED.
Now, I admit, I was a little baffled abiyt Katie’s response. Katie is all about open communication, and she seemed to really not have any reaction to his proclamations of love. Bearing in mind that she has communicated again and again that she doesn't want to say the L word to anyone until the end, I am kind of shocked that she didn't have a plan in place as far as how to respond to these guys if they said it anyway. I do not know If this is just a case of a franken-edit, but what we see is…notably a weird reaction from Katie, who has been all about reassuring Greg and nurturing his fragile ego from the get-go.
One thing I will say, though, is that he doesn't look…heartbroken or hurt or whatever. What I see in Greg is anger. Once again, my "this man is a manipulative narcissist" sensors are TINGLING.
Noticing that Greg is visibly upset, Katie tries to walk it back, but he is shut all the way down. His mood has totally changed. He is in full Oscar-monologue mode. He's ready for his close up, etc.
At this point, the ability of anyone to effectively communicate goes totally out of the window in a way that made me feel like ripping my hair out. Greg could simply have said, "I said I love you, you didn't say it back, I am hurt." Katie could have said any number of things about how strongly she feels for him, that she sees them together in the end, etc etc. Instead they have this awkward back and forth where Greg is basically insisting that Katie tell him that he's the winner, which he KNOWS DAMN WELL that she cannot do. Maybe he wanted her to pull a Clare and end the season early for him? idk!
Katie is in a difficult situation because she cannot tell him, on camera/mic, that she is planning for him to win—they still have a few episodes to go!
Anyway, the date ends with them being really distraught. Greg says in the confessional that "It's clear to him that she's not feeling the same way," which…dude, WHERE? All along, poor Katie has been bending over backwards to validate and reassure this absolute crybaby about her feelings for him. She has said over and over that she sees them together in the end. She all but told his family outright that she wants him to him, which they surely communicated back to Greg.
The next day, Greg puts on this whole show about how he's upset because he "poured his heart out" to Katie and felt like he got nothing back. He goes to her hotel room—which, FOR THE RECORD, I think this should be outlawed as a thing on the show. Let this woman have peace.
Basically Greg tells her that he "poured out his heart to her" and that she didn't give him anything back, she doesn't understand, he is hurt that she is thinking about this in terms of "guys on a list" (re: the reference to him being number 1 or whatever) and has this whole dramatic monologue about how he doesn’t' care about getting a rose because it doesn't MATTER if it's not REAL. Basically at this point, Greg is trying to make her feel bad for treating him like a contestant on a gameshow even though he is literally….a contestant on a game show? I? Let us not forget for one moment that THIS MAN SIGNED. UP. FOR. THIS.
Anyway, Greg decides he "Can't do this anymore" and he's leaving the show. Katie is crushed and obviously this throws the whole ass show into disarray because he was clearly gonna be the winner and now she is left with two dudes about whom she does not feel as strongly.
So, ok. I have a lot of thoughts.
First, some low-key conspiracy theories:
We never see Katie onscreen telling the guys about her whole moratorium on the "Love Yous." We see her telling us (the audience) and all of the families, though. I would go so far as to speculate that Katie might have communicated this to the men off-screen, based on her open-communication policy. However, even if the men weren't explicitly told by Katie (I could see this being forbidden by production, for dramas-sake…), I suspect that Greg's mom probably told him what Katie said in their one-on-one convo. I know this is speculation, but hear me out. Katie basically was dancing around the fact that Greg was gonna be the winner ALL NIGHT LONG, and while she obviously cannot say this outright, his family heard what she was saying and I bet that they told Greg.
I don't think that Greg ever really intended to make it this far and I don't think he really wanted to win. I've been saying this all along. We know that he is a trained actor, but only because of internet sleuthing—his acting career has not once been mentioned on the show, which is WILDLY suspicious and leads me to think that he only wanted to be on this show to get some notoriety/launch his trash acting career.
I think that making it to the top 3 freaked him out and he was looking for a way out. Whether or not his mom tipped him off to Katie's "No I love yous" strategy, Katie not telling him "I love you" back is exactly what he needed to weasel his way out of the situation. It makes him look like the victim, it makes her look like a frigid asshole, and it gives him a believable reason to dip out even though he was going to do this all along.
Now, I know, I know. Not everyone wants to buy into the idea that Greg is an evil mastermind hellbent on launching an acting career who never had any real feelings for Katie. I hear you and I see you, and I may be wrong about this.
So let's unpack it, setting aside the idea that this was all due to acting ambitions:
This man has been an absolute insecure train wreck of a human being for the entire duration of this show. He needs near constant validation and reassurance from Katie. I am frankly a little surprised that Katie tolerated this. I suspect that she was misunderstanding his "pathological insecurity" for "vulnerability" or something. In any case, I do NOT think that this man is ready to be in a committed relationship—at least not a healthy one?
ALSO, Greg 100% needs a therapist, full stop. He is like…depressed about his dad dying, which is TOTALLY fair and valid. What's not fair or valid is for him to put that on Katie and basically demand that she deal with it. The whole part where he said that Katie "fills a hole in his heart left by his dad" coupled with his family saying that Greg has not talked about his dad passing with anyone is…phewwwww. Katie is notably not a therapist. I am so so so tired of men using their partners for 100% of their emotional support!! GET A COUNSELOR. This isn't Katie's job!!!! TALKSPACE, SPONSOR ME.
ADDITIONALLY, the whole conversation where Greg was trying to force her to reciprocate saying "I love you," and when that didn't work, trying to force her to tell him that he was basically gonna be the winner was…tooooo much for me. All along, Greg has been forcing Katie to give and give and give, reassurance after reassurance, to make him feel better. Then, the one time that she does not give him exactly what he wanted, he has an absolute temper tantrum and QUITS THE SHOW. I'm sorry, but this does not bode well for a healthy relationship.
Like, consent and respecting boundaries go beyond just sex, my dudes. Katie set this boundary for herself where she was not ready/willing to say I Love You back, and Greg was out here PUSHING it. Like I said above, when Katie does not return his proclamations of love, Greg gets MAD. He goes into full gaslighting mode. He felt entitled to her affections and when he didn't get what he felt he deserved, (he even says at one point "I deserve more" lmao), he goes off the handle. He tells her that he's leaving because she did all these things wrong (when she didn't really do anything wrong) and will simply not be reasoned with.
Not only that, but when he storms away, he could have just gone to a producer and been like “I am done” and refused to see Katie further. Instead he intentioanlly sits on a chair outside, waiting for Katie to come and grovel—which she unfortunately does. He looks so satisfied and smug in this moment, while she is literally on her knees trying to get him to ‘forgive’ her (for what???). He felt slighted by Katie not saying she loved him back, and this was a power move to take control back of the relationship. It is clear as day, and this whoooole thing is red flaggy for me for me because my abusive ex used to pull this shit with me all the time. I see sooo much of that ex in Greg (which is probably why I hate this man so much hahaha).
The whole conversation in the hotel room was a little triggering, if I am honest, because it was just classic emotional abuse and manipulation. Katie tries to active listen, tries to apologize, tries to explain her thought process from the night before. Greg tells her "you don't understand." When Katie tries to explain that she was listening to him, he straight up tells her "No you weren't." (Gaslight!!)
Katie tries to reassure him by pointing out how she told his mom that he was getting a rose that week, and Greg blows up about how "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ROSE" even though it 100% is about the rose because you are on the motherfucking BACHELORETTE! IT IS A SHOW! Are you WELL, Gregory?
Greg also keeps bringing up that he told her "you fill a hole in my heart" and didn't get anything back from her (GASLIGHT). The implication behind this is that he gave her a huge "romantic" (problematic) statement and so therefore he deserves for her to cross the boundary that she set and give him something equally as big back. (G.A.S.L.I.G.H.T.) He feels entitled to her reciprocation of these feelings. He keeps pointing out how he was vulnerable with her and she didn't get anything back—this is emotional manipulation. He is trying to force Katie's emotions/feelings by weaponizing his own. SCREAM.
Also, the absolute textbook way in which he is completely hot/cold with her. He's sweet and kind and loving when she is giving him exactly what he asks for. He withdraws completely as soon as she does anything he doesn't like. TEXTBOOK EMOTIONAL ABUSER BEHAVIOR, BYE!!!!!
Not to mention, how much does he really "love" her if all it takes is one single moment of her not doing exactly what he wants for him to abandon her completely. Asjdkasjdkas.
I clearly feel a way about this. As I alluded above, I came to the realization that all along my hatred for Greg was low key because he reminded me in subtle ways of my abusive ex-boyfriend. That situation is too much to go into detail about here, but this episode really sent me tipping over the edge. All along I was like "Idk what it is about Greg but he gives me bad vibes" and LO AND BEHOLD, here we are!!! I was correct!! Due to my own trauma! Thrilling to know that years of abuse and subsequent years of therapy (of which I need more—accepting vemno donations) have honed a radar for bullshit artists, I suppose.
ANYWAY, so we reach the end. Greg, as I predicted, yeeted himself off the show. He turned out to be…not great. Proved himself to be the worst sort of villain because he is not an obvious villain. Many, many people on the interweb are still supporting Greg and thinking that Katie did something wrong. People keep claiming that what he did was not gaslighting (it was). This man is narcissistic, emotionally toxic, and manipulative. GoodBYE.
And then at the end of the episode there is this ridiculous montage of Greg/Katie's "Love story" as though its like an In Memoriam video. Had me absolutely gagging. Also, good luck in Fantasy Suites and beyond, @ Blake and Justin. Can't imagine that any relationship Katie leaves with is gonna survive this Greg episode, to be honest.
I have not a clue what's going to happen next week, y'all. At this point, Blake is looking like the default winner, but if Katie is still hung up on Greg, maybe she goes home alone? We do see her demanding a flight home at the end of this episode, so maybe that will be the shocking ending that the show has been hinting at all season. Ajdkasjdkajk
Hopefully I recover from my re-triggered trauma before next week ~~~